In order to discuss what the author does in this book, I will have to disclose a bit more of the plot than usual. I apologize for any spoilers, which I will try to keep to a minimum.

This novel feels like an experimental work, which may or not appeal to readers in general. I enjoy her exploration, since I generally like works that delve into psychological conjecture. Kitamura divides the novel into two parts, both told in first person narrative: the first introduces our narrator, a middle-aged actress, in rehearsals for a new play, meeting a young, attractive man for lunch. She has mixed motives for this meeting, drawn to the man, yet resisting any potential for a sexual liaison. She is uncertain of his motives, running through them in her mind, trying to match her observations and responses to one or another explanation. She recollects memories of prior encounters. In the midst of this lunch, she spots her husband entering the restaurant, then hastily leaving. She quickly leaves the young man, pursues her husband, who is now out of sight. In this version of her life, we learn that the couple have never had children, pursuing their careers as actor and writer, and we see the impact that life choice has had on their relationship, satisfaction with life, and other choices.

Now the novel moves into the second part, with the actress continuing as first person narrator. Here the young man, Xavier, is the couple’s young adult son, who, while working on his Master’s in theater, gets a job as the assistant to the director of his mother’s play. We have moved forward a bit in time, the play is a great success, advancing both the actress’s career and her son’s. He needs to move in to the parent’s apartment, a temporary arrangement, both new and awkward. The parents are delighted, yet the closer proximity permits them to witness and learn more about their son’s life style and choices, than perhaps they feel comfortable knowing. Circumstances are further stressed when he brings home a young lover, Hana, about whom he shares very little information. The young pair quickly settle in, appearing to take over the space comfortably, unsettling the parents.

Since we are only in the head of the actress, we are limited to her interpretations of actions, and we see the impact her memories have on her perspective. We wonder at her reliability as a witness, how others respond to her words and actions. Both scenarios have the feel of actors in a scene, and we are the audience, trying to parse meaning. Choices made have vibrations across time, alter close relationships, leading to further choices. It all feels so precarious, yet isn’t it true for us all? You can see how choices made open and close doors of opportunity. Intentions are meaningless, it is what is said and done that matter. On a macro level, we see the two major paths taken, and how they change the character and trajectory of the couple’s lives. While we know all this, we also realize that life is lived one moment at a time, yet each moment resounds forward, expanding and contracting all other options.

I really enjoyed this short novel, and feel as though I will ponder its meaning for a while. It feels like a curious object that I can turn over in my mind over time, examine from different angles, and catch more nuance and meaning.